I was recently, very generously, gifted a first edition copy of one of my favourite books; Bertrand Russell’s ‘Conquest of Happiness’.
This book is one of the world’s greatest philosophers and thinkers turning his mind to a traditionally ‘unacademic’ topic; happiness.
And he does it with lucid simplicity. It’s a simply fantastic read and I feel lighter, more wise and, I think, happier after reading it.
It’s the closest thing to a happiness roadmap we’ve got.
His insights are as relevant today as they were in the 1930s, and urge us to confront the sources of our discontent while embracing the simple joys of life.
Here are my 4 key takeaways from the book:
1. Reducing the Self
This is Russell’s most powerful idea in the book.
Aligning with Buddhist philosophy, Russell argues that true happiness stems from a diminishing self-obsession and focusing more on the world outside oneself.
He asserts, “Self-absorption is the enemy of happiness, and the more we harbour thoughts about ourselves, the less likely we are to be happy.”
A preoccupation with self can lead to a magnification of troubles and a diminution of the broader pleasures life offers.
Which is just so true. You see so many people trudging around immersed in their own troubles as if they’re the only ones with issues.
Truthfully, everyone has stuff going on.
Equally truthfully, everyone’s stuff will pass and they’ll get over it.
You are included in this.
The problems you worry about now will seem totally irrelevant in 3 months time.
So why are you letting yourself become absorbed in these worries? And, even worse, why are you letting these trivial things get in the way of your relationships?
“The more the universe is explored, the more the happiness of men is founded upon a healthy interest in all human affairs, and not merely those which can be shown to affect oneself.”
Expand your mind, live for others, and stop being so self-obsessed.
2. Free Yourself from Excessive Competition
One of the most hard hitting chapters in the book covers envy and competition. A topic I’m fascinated by (probably because it’s something I struggle with the most).
I constantly read and re-read this chapter. It feels like putting a smoothing, healing balm over a weeping wound.
In essence, Russell believes that the pursuit of success necessarily leads to envy and insecurity, which detract from our happiness.
This idea crops up everywhere, from Aristotle to Socrates and from De Botton to Nietzsche. And you probably experience it in your own life, too.
Constantly running on the hamster wheel, burning ourselves out, working tiring jobs all to keep up with the Joneses doesn’t end well for us.
It makes us moody, disconnected and jealous of those who have more.
Truthfully, there will always be people who have more.
So what you must cure is your envy, not your external situation of having more money or a better job.
Envy is an illness. And like a sick person, it does not matter if you’re lying on a golden throne or in squalor. You feel terrible either way.
As Russell amusingly quips; “One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.”
This isn’t to say quit your job, just realise that earning more money + constantly doing better than others doesn’t matter so much.
Because success, of course, feels good and is important to self-esteem. However, “success can only be one ingredient in happiness, and is too dearly purchased if all the other ingredients have been sacrificed to obtain it.”
In a nutshell: stop comparing yourself to others, take yourself and your work less seriously, be generous and spend time with loved ones.
3. Cultivate Relationships
Unsurprisingly, human connection is central to Russell’s philosophy of happiness.
It’s quite simply impossible for us to be happy if we’re alone. Loneliness is the single biggest inhibitor to happiness.
We need human connection. We need to feel heard and loved.
Investing time and energy in relationships can enrich our lives and buffer against the challenges we face.
But this is the bit most people get wrong. They aren’t willing to invest in relationships and go through sacrifices.
People will only love you if you love them. And loving someone involves putting yourself through difficulty, putting up with other people’s moods, putting aside your own wants for their needs or desires.
As Russell puts it; ‘the essence of affection is that it is outward-looking and involves an outgoing towards something other than self.”
Selfish people end up lonely.
And when times get tough, you need your loved ones around to remember what’s really important; the fact you’re loved, your family are healthy and that you have each other.
In a nutshell: “affection, broadly speaking, involves relations with others, and it is only through such relations that happiness can be profoundly felt.
4. Overcome Boredom with Curiosity
Russell argues, agreeing with Schopenhauer, that boredom is a significant source of unhappiness. The frustrating thing about Schopenhauer, which we thankfully don’t get with Russell, is that he doesn’t ever give us practical reasons for our boredom or practical ways to overcome.
Fortunately Russell does.
He argues, convincingly, that our boredom stems from a lack of curiosity. A lack of interest and intrigue in the world around us. Which is true; those who take no interest in the world around them struggle to find anything to be happy about.
To combat this, he suggests cultivating interests that engage and challenge the mind.
But he isn’t snobbish about it and admits any curiosity will stimulate the mind and allow one to overcome boredom. He quotes sport as an example of a fantastic pass time that helps us deal with the burden of boredom.
Thank you for condoning my constant monitoring of the football results, Mr. Russell.
But some other ideas here would be to simply follow your intellectual curiosity. What excites you?
Think of something that excited you recently and order books about it, see that thing live, meet with others who like that thing too.
The world is an amazing place if you become curious about the things in it.
Russell’s best advice here is to be like a child again; “the person who can keep alive the childlike part of themselves is to be envied, for this quality will keep fresh for them all sources of delight which depend upon spontaneity.”
In a nutshell; embrace learning and new experiences to find sustained joy in the details of everyday life.
Conclusion
In today’s fast-paced world, Russell’s philosophical guide to happiness encourages us to slow down, reflect, and prioritise the aspects of life that offer true contentment. By integrating his wisdom into our daily routines, we can craft a life not just of success, but of happiness.
I urge you to get a copy. You can download his book for free online as a PDF.
Or, even better, buy a physical copy.
And get an audio version.
Much love,
Max
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