In life, we find ourselves ceaselessly entangled in the complexities of emotions. Emotions that are triggered by events that occur in our lives.
It can seem as though the world is against us sometimes. We don’t get the grades we wanted, or the dream job, or the person we wanted to be with.
It might, at first glance, seem that our well-being is directly tied to the circumstances that surround us, and that we can’t do anything about it.
But this isn’t actually the case.
Not according to the Stoics anyway – who saw things very differently.
They proposed a profound, yet counterintuitive, understanding: it’s not what happens to us that determines our happiness, but rather how we judge and value those occurrences.
For my money, it is the single most powerful and effective idea in the history of philosophy regarding the self.
And if you adopt it and begin to see the world as the Stoics did, I can guarantee you will feel less anxious, and more empowered.
Our Judgments Are the True Source of Our Emotions
Our perceptions and narratives are the only factor in shaping our emotional responses.
External circumstances actually have no bearing.
Our anger, sorrow, joy, and disappointment, therefore, aren’t mere reactions to the outside world, but rather to our internal interpretations of it.
Take for example, missing a train.
To one, it might be a catastrophic blunder, leading to a series of missed opportunities.
But to another, it’s a chance to enjoy an unexpected break, perhaps taking a moment to read or reflect.
The external event remains the same, but the emotional outcome differs vastly based on the internal narrative.
You can think of similar examples with any external event.
Consider something ‘bad’ that happened to you recently and think how you may have reacted differently?
It’s not hard to do.
Misplaced Valuations: The Illusion of Good and Bad
The reason why we get annoyed when we miss a train is because of our opinion that missing the train is bad.
We judge that event as bad and as a result we become annoyed because something bad has happened to us.
But the Stoics disagree. Missing a train is not bad. Catching the train is not even good. In fact, nothing in the external world is intrinsically good or bad.
They are indifferent.
The only good or bad things are our judgments and opinions of what happens.
For clarity, then, externals (which are not intrinsically good or bad) refer to anything outside of our own internal opinions and judgments.
E.g., money, cars, houses, other people, jobs, events, insults… basically everything in the world.
And all of these things we value as good or bad are indifferent when it comes to our true well-being.
This is very counterintuitive because we live in a society that exalts certain things (wealth, social status, finding true romantic love), and deems them as intrinsically good.
And simultaneously, we value having little money, lack of luxury, and obscurity as intrinsically bad.
As if, if they would happen to us, they would make us deeply unhappy.
But this isn’t the case.
None of these things are intrinsically good or bad.
Pause for a minute and think this through. I’m saying here that no external event is good or bad.
Winning the lottery is not intrinsically good.
Losing a leg is not intrinsically bad.
I’m aware that to accept these statements requires a radical shift. But the Stoics were absolutely spot on when they made these statements.
Consider the countless stories of individuals with immense wealth and fame who were deeply unhappy, and those with meagre possessions who radiated joy and contentment.
If winning the lottery was intrinsically good, everyone rich would be happy. They aren’t.
If being insulted was intrinsically bad, everyone insulted would be sad. They aren’t.
So these things simply cannot be intrinsically good or bad.
Rather, they are indifferent. You are rich? Ok. But what is your character like? This is how I will judge your success.
So does this mean we should abandon our pursuits in the real world and live in indifference like a monk?
No. The Stoics would actively go against this and urge everyone to do good in the world.
This is because doing good in the world (virtue, as they called it) is the only true good.
Seneca was an advisor to several Roman Emperors and Marcus Aurelius was a Roman Emperor (one of the best).
Being kind, honest, generous, humble, patient, forgiving, temperate, courageous. These are the only true goods.
So whilst money is indifferent, using money to be generous is good.
The act of being generous is good. But the money itself is not.
So whilst we may prefer to be wealthy, powerful etc. we must not place our happiness and well-being in their hands.
To value these externals as the end-all-be-all is to build one’s house on shifting sands.
Stoicism prompts us to place value on our inner virtues, our character, and our judgments, rather than the ever-changing external world.
This recalibration of values not only provides a more stable foundation for contentment but also a profound liberation from the whims and uncertainties of life.
In Conclusion
Our modern world, with its myriad distractions and pressures, can benefit greatly from Stoic wisdom.
By recognising the power of our judgments and by reassessing our value systems, we pave the way for a life of deeper contentment and understanding.
It reminds us that the key to happiness might not lie in the external circumstances that befall us, but in our internal compass and the perceptions we hold.
In a world chasing after fleeting pleasures, Stoicism offers an anchoring philosophy. It invites us to step back, recalibrate, and realise that genuine tranquility arises not from what we possess or avoid, but from the resilient mindset we cultivate.
Through this lens, we learn to appreciate life in its entirety, understanding that both its storms and its clear skies offer lessons and opportunities for growth.
The Stoics, in their timeless wisdom, beckon us to embrace a life where happiness is not dictated by the external, but is a choice, rooted in understanding and perspective.
So this week, try and be 10% more kind, honest, brave and generous. And try to be 10% less worried about externals.
Someone insults you? That is their concern. Your concern is to ensure you do not do anything worthy of insult.
Now, breathe. That was a lot. Any questions? I urge you to read more stoicism or get in touch.
Take it easy, as always,
Max
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