Monday’s can be difficult.
You wake up, it’s the start of a new week and you might be feeling a bit anxious.
Your mind is racing ahead to all the things you need to do and all the challenges you need to overcome.
It can be a bit daunting.
So here’s a mood booster for you.
A reason why you don’t need to feel so bad, why you should be grateful for your life and why today is a great day to be you.
We all have moments when life feels incomplete.
It might be the job we don’t have, the home we haven’t bought, or the partner we have yet to meet. This feeling of something missing is a universal human experience.
But here’s the truth: life is inherently imperfect, and that’s not just okay—it’s exactly how it’s supposed to be.
Human beings are wired to strive for more.
Everyone knows Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It illustrates that once our basic needs are met, we seek higher levels of fulfillment—safety, love, esteem, and ultimately, self-actualization.
Yet, what everyone doesn’t know, and what Maslow misses out, is that even at the peak of self-actualisation there remains an insatiable desire to achieve more.
This perpetual dissatisfaction is what fuels human progress and survival.
Philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer captured this sentiment well when he said, “Life swings like a pendulum backward and forward between pain and boredom.”
Our desires and the subsequent chase to fulfil them are endless.
But this doesn’t mean we are doomed to unhappiness. Instead, it offers a profound opportunity to understand and embrace our nature.
The Gift of Dissatisfaction
Dissatisfaction is often painted in a negative light, but it’s a powerful motivator. It drives us to innovate, create, and push boundaries.
Without it, humanity might still be living in caves.
This intrinsic dissatisfaction compels us to build better lives for ourselves and for those around us.
It’s the engine behind our ability to improve and grow.
How to Mitigate the Feeling of Imperfection
Acknowledging that perfection is unattainable can be liberating.
But it can also be hard to deal with because we don’t fully understand the nuance and complexity of this painful, but necessary set of emotions.
So, here are some ways to mitigate the feelings of imperfection in your life and to find joy in the journey:
1. Reduce the Sense of Self:
Eastern philosophies, like Buddhism, teach the reduction of the ego.
By minimising our focus on the self, we can reduce the intensity of our desires and find peace in the present moment.
In his book “The Untethered Soul” (a personal favourite and strong recommendation) Michael Singer writes one of my favourite quotes on ego:
“You were not put on Earth to suffer.
Your inner growth is completely dependent upon the realisation that the only way to find peace and contentment is to stop thinking about yourself.
You’re ready to grow when you finally realise that the “I” who is always talking inside will never be content.”
In other words, remove the ego and you get close to removing suffering.
This reduction of ego helps us to navigate life’s imperfections with a serene mind.
2. Recognise Shared Dissatisfaction:
Understanding that everyone feels this dissatisfaction way can be comforting.
We’re all part of a collective struggle for meaning and satisfaction.
As Schopenhauer says, when we meet people in the world we should not look upon each other as simply other people, but rather as “fellow sufferers”.
This shared experience of lacking should foster empathy and compassion towards others.
But also remove our feelings of jealousy and envy towards others. Everyone is suffering. No one has the perfect life.
3. Take Pleasure in Small Things:
The Stoics, particularly Marcus Aurelius, advised finding joy in the simple and the everyday.
Appreciating a sunset, a good meal, or a moment of laughter can bring immense satisfaction and remind us that happiness is often found in the small details of life.
4. Realise External Things Won’t Bring Happiness:
Many great thinkers, including Epictetus, taught that true happiness comes from within.
External achievements and possessions are fleeting and cannot bring lasting fulfilment.
Focusing on internal growth and contentment will lead to a more stable sense of well-being.
This internal growth might mean working on your character, e.g., becoming a better friend, or a more honest, courageous, just and generous person.
5. Build Solid Relationships:
Human connection is one of the most significant and consistent sources of joy and satisfaction in life.
Building and nurturing relationships with family, friends, and communities provides a strong foundation of support and happiness.
Whilst they will never be perfect, good relationships create a spring of joy in life that few other things provide.
6. Practice Virtue and Kindness:
In a world where perfection is unattainable, one of the most meaningful actions we can take is to be kind and virtuous.
When we acknowledge our own imperfections, it becomes easier to be compassionate toward others.
As the Dalai Lama often teaches, “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”
Kindness and generosity not only improve the lives of those around us but also bring a profound sense of fulfilment and purpose to our own lives.
Gratitude for the Innate Dissatisfaction
It’s crucial to be grateful for our dissatisfaction. While it might seem like a curse at times, it’s also a blessing.
It pushes us to dream, to aspire, and to become more than we are.
This drive can be harnessed to create meaningful and fulfilling lives, despite the ever-present sense of imperfection.
Life’s imperfections are not flaws—they are features of the human experience.
Our dissatisfaction is a driving force that propels us forward, and by understanding and embracing it, we can lead richer, more fulfilled lives.
Remember, it’s in the striving and the journey that we find our greatest purpose and joy.
And in this journey, what better way to find contentment than to extend kindness and virtue to others?
When we realise that everyone is navigating their own imperfect lives, compassion and generosity become the highest forms of human expression.
So, this week, be kind to others.
Don’t be sad about things that aren’t perfect in your life.
We’re all suffering.
Love,
Max
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